How to be Ninja is a dvd that shows you how to be an excellent ninja.
A nerd (Sean Fujiyoshi) is reading a book then suddenly a bully (Ryan Higa) beats him up. Then a voice asks if he wants to learn to defend himself and throws him the video on how to be ninja.
- Carl Douglas - Kung Fu Fighting
- Mortal Kombat Theme Song
- Pink Panther Theme Song
- Fergie - Clumsy
(Nerd is reading a book)
Bully: Give me your wallet.
(Bully starts beating him up)
Nerd: ah AH stop it ow..... I want go home, cook rice wif Hanate-Writen by A person from Narnia XP
(Bully stops beating him up)
Voice: Hey, You!
Nerd: Who, Me?
Voice: Wanna learn how to defend yourself?
Voice: Aren't you tired of bullies picking on you all the time?
Voice: Then How to be Ninja is the DVD for You.
(Nerd fails to catch it)
Voice: This DVD includes your two very own personal trainers.
Trainer 1: Hello everyone, my name is Hanate Wakuso Shiseo Tadashite Teriyaki Suzuki Honda Civic.
Trainer 2: Hello, my name is Bob.
Hanate: And we will be teaching you how to be...
Both of Them: NINJAA!
(Hanate slaps Bob in the face.)
Hanate: The first lesson in being a ninja is making loud, unessessary sounds when you hit things.
(He hits multiple things and fails hitting the last)
Bob: A true ninja can catch things with his chopsticks.
(Bob fails multiple times then catches a water bottle)
Bob: Hey, I caught it!
(Big Bouncing Inflatable Green Ball is thrown at him)
Hanate: Lesson three, a true ninja knows how to teleport from place to place.
(He begins "teleporting")
Hanate: And that's how it's done.
Bob: Lesson four, you must be able to transform into anything. You must be able to become an animal.
(Hanate imitates a monkey)
Bob: You may imitate a tree.
(Hanate imitates a tree)
Bob: Maybe even a fag.
(Hanate imitates a fag)
Bob: And you must be able to imitate anyone.
Hanate: (stuttering) My name is Daphne.
(Bob thumbs up)
Hanate: Lesson number five, you must be able to perform a fatality.
(Hanate and Bob fight until Hanate produces a fatality by farting)
Hanate: If you follow all these lessons.....
Bob: .....It should look a little something like this.
(Hanate and Bob fight)
Hanate: Ah forget this.
(He gets a Gun and shoots Bob)