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How to be Ninja is a dvd that shows you how to be an excellent ninja.

Plot

A nerd (Sean Fujiyoshi) is reading a book then suddenly a bully (Ryan Higa) beats him up. Then a voice asks if he wants to learn to defend himself and throws him the video on how to be ninja.

Songs Used

  • Carl Douglas - Kung Fu Fighting
  • Mortal Kombat Theme Song
  • Pink Panther Theme Song
  • Fergie - Clumsy

Transcript

(Nerd is reading a book)

(Bully Arrives)

Bully: Give me your wallet.

Nerd: No....No....Noooooooo

(Bully starts beating him up)

Nerd: ah AH stop it ow.....

(Bully stops beating him up)

Voice: Hey, You!

Nerd: Who, Me?

Voice:Yeah, You.

Nerd: God?

Voice: Wanna learn how to defend yourself?

Nerd: Yeah.

Voice: Aren't you tired of bullies picking on you all the time?

Nerd: Mhmm.

(Shows DVD)

Voice: Then How to be Ninja is the DVD for You.

(Nerd fails to catch it)

Voice: This DVD includes your two very own personal trainers.

Trainer 1: Hello everyone, my name is Hanate Wakuso Shiseo Tadashite Teriyaki Suzuki Honda Civic.

Trainer 2: Hello, my name is Bob.

Hanate: And we will be teaching you how to be...

Both of Them: NINJAA!

(Hanate slaps Bob in the face.)

Hanate: The first lesson in being a ninja is making loud, unessessary sounds when you hit things.

(He hits multiple things and fails hitting the last)

Bob: A true ninja can catch things with his chopsticks.

(Bob fails multiple times then catches a water bottle)

Bob: Hey, I caught it!

(Big Bouncing Inflatable Green Ball is thrown at him)

Hanate: Lesson three, a true ninja knows how to teleport from place to place.

(He begins "teleporting")

Hanate: And that's how it's done.

Bob: Lesson four, you must be able to transform into anything. You must be able to become an animal.

(Hanate imitates a monkey)

Bob: You may imitate a tree.

(Hanate imitates a tree)

Bob: Maybe even a fag.

(Hanate imitates a fag)

Bob: And you must be able to imitate anyone.

Hanate: (stuttering) My name is Daphne.

(Bob thumbs up)

Hanate: Lesson number five, you must be able to perform a fatality.

(Hanate and Bob fight until Hanate produces a fatality by farting)

Hanate: If you follow all these lessons.....

Bob: .....It should look a little something like this.

(Hanate and Bob fight)

Hanate: Ah forget this.

(He gets a Gun and shoots Bob)

TEEHEE!

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